The next 11 hour bus was a treat, with screaming toddlers behind us pulling on our seats the entire way. We did get handed a note by someone on the bus that said in basic English, you are both invited to come and stay with me at my house. Turns out her house was not in the same town that we were going to. And after the night we had, we couldn’t figure out if it was a trick to bring us back to her house, drug us and rob us (we had heard such stories) OR if we had just witnessed one of the kindest acts you can offer to backpackers coming through your country. A 2 hour layover followed by another 5 hour bus, had us arriving in Bonito, feeling like we had been chewed up and spat out. When you in are in this condition, you just want peace and quiet, to take a shower and pass out, a little luxury wouldn’t hurt either. Well we were in for a different kind of welcome. The hostel was under construction, and I mean it looked like a bomb had gone off. There goes the peace and quiet. Our delightful host then handed us bedding. Really, I just got off a 24 hour bus and you are telling me I have to make our bed?? Adios to the luxury. And only after avoiding a close electrocution in the shower, did we get to rest our heads. It was about this time that had me dreaming of home comforts and a cuddle with our doggie and just a sprinkle of normality.
This fun piece of info may have you thinking otherwise however. Another bathroom quirk that you has to become part of our daily life, is that no toilet paper can go down the toilet… EVER. Which leaves a delightful treat in a bin for the next person behind you. Let me add here, open bins, no lids, why would you have a lid? You need to be able to see into the bin to get the full delight of the south American experience. And when you have a lazy hostel that doesn’t empty the bins often, well it is gut wrenching! If you were on our shoes, I know what you’d be thinking, surely one little piece of toilet paper won’t hurt, just this once. Nope, tried it. You will have a blocked toilet and a bigger mess than possible. It is all worth it, it is all worth it. The ham and cheese sandwiches for 2 meals every day for 2 weeks, have not helped the situation. Don’t you think they would come up with a new filling here??
So now that I have had a little rant, and made you all feel glad that you are sitting in your cozy house on your plush sofa with a fridge full of anything you want at your fingertips and a bathroom with a toilet that flushes it’s paper and a shower that doesn’t spark, now I will tell you why it is, in fact, all worth it.
Bonito translates to beautiful, and the next morning we set out on a tour to see how bonito Bonito was. The activity that put this place on a map is snorkeling down a river through the jungle in the world’s 3rd clearest water. (don’t ask where the first 2 are, cause I don’t know). We got kitted up in wetsuits and then had a 2km hike in the jungle, yes with wetsuits and socks on. Being 90 degrees and humid, most of us had our wet suits on up until our waist to keep us from passing out in the heat. Here is the catch though, seeing as Bonito is protected area and they want to keep their clear water ranking and ecosystems in tact, you are forbidden to wear any sunscreen or mosquito repellant. Did I mention we are in the jungle? In Brazil? We were eaten alive. 2kms had never seemed so far. We finally got in the water and submerged ourselves to drown all the mossies- Greg still got bitten with only his forehead sticking out of the water.
The highlight of the night was our sighting of a cockroach that could and should enter the 2012 guiness book of world records. It was the size of a rat!
The next day, we had another early start to see the blue cave, in which they charge way too much money to let you walk down slippery rocks, that surely have had many lawsuits to answer for, to a cave. They wouldn’t let me bring a tripod, despite there being plenty of room to use it. Which meant no wall worthy photos for me, not a good start. Then the guide left Greg and I, the only non Portuguese speakers, in the cave on our own, with no concern for our safety or if we ever made it out. In hindsight, just in case you ever make it to Bonito, it is so not worth it.
The Pantanal is the world’s largest wetland, 3 times the size of the everglades, and home to the allusive jaguar and about 900 species of birds that I had never heard of. After much research, we decided to do a private tour with a local guide named Julinho. The pantanal has had an influx of tourism, where tour guides are now feeding the animals to please tourists, let them get their fill of an “encounter” and they then go back to drinking heavily and partying. We wanted to go to the panantal to see the pantanal, not disturb and distort it, so we picked a guide that lives by these morals. An hour and a half later had us landing into Cuiaba (I researched the name after). Julinho was there as promised, despite being 2am. After blowing every red light so we didn’t get robbed, he dropped us off to the hotel (I say hotel, rooms were a little prison like.) As he turned to leave he said “I will pick you up at 7” Wait a minute, you mean like in 4 hours? I guess sleeping will have to wait.
By the time we got settled and into bed, it was 3.30. You know that feeling when you know you have to wake up for something, and you end up waking every 20mins to double check you haven’t slept in, well Greg and I kept waking up at a different 20 mins each to check the watch, meaning all in all, we got about 40 minutes of sleep.
Julinho was early, of course, so we scoffed breakfast down our throats and headed out for an exhausting bumpy and hot 4 hour drive, down dirt roads in his 44 year old land cruiser. We arrived at the lodge, had lunch were treated to an afternoon nap, the advantages of having a private guide were paying off. That afternoon we took a canoe out on the river and Julinho impressed us with knowing every bird call, and spotting monkeys from what seemed like a mile away. It was impressive. Nature treated us to one of the most beautiful sunsets I have seen followed by a lighting storm without the rain, my favorite kind! Over dinner, which was always just the 3 of us, we began to recited lines from 40 year old virgin to each other. This turned into 4 days of us coming up with new lines of, do you know how I know your gay? Example of response - Because your scared of camian (to Greg). For those who know the movie, you will see the appeal, we may still be doing this by the time we get home, please do not take offence. Julinho seemed excited to get up at 5am the next morning to do a hike, and we couldn’t disappoint him.
And so we woke at 4.45, our eyes barely able to open or focus. You know that feeling when you kind of zone out when driving, and arrive home and think, how did I get here? Or is that just me? Well that’s what I was feeling. And when your that tired, your senses aren’t quite so alert. You maybe think wow, this is stunningly beautiful, but you can only manage a smile and a head nod to the guide. Julinho got the point, we needed to nap again today. So after a walk, some camien (crocodile) spotting, monkeys, toucans and many,many mosquitos, it was time for a hearty breakfast and another canoe ride. I say ride, because I didn’t have to row. We spotted a family of endanged giant otter’s who were very curious but nervous of our presence. They quickly retreated back to their den and as we were waiting for them to come back out, it started to rain, and I mean pour, out of nowhere. Rain was bouncing off the water so hard that you couldn’t tell if the rain drops were falling down or coming up from the water. Greg and Julinho were frantically rowing back while I was trying to get the cameras safely in the dry sack. How it survived, I don’t know. We were soaked. This called for a nice long 2 hour nap. Once the rain let up, it was back out onto the water with some beers for an afternoon of piranha fishing. There is a trick to it, and once we got the hang of it, we were pulling them in left, right and center. Unhooking them was something that I couldn’t bring myself to do. They are vicious! And you wouldn’t know that they even have teeth until you look down their throat. Thanks to Bryan for sending me the article on a guy who was attacked by piranhas in Brazil, it was engrained in my head. We ended the day with a night safari in the jeep with a spot light. And while it was somewhat successful, crab eating foxes, the worlds largest Gina pig, which is the size of a large dog, caiman, snakes etc we had lost hope of seeing a jaguar. We were too early in the season, and it was something that we had prepared ourselves for. We did get to see the most beautiful stary night however, with no lights for miles, no moon, the sky was as black as could be, that the stars popped, it was unreal!
Another 7am start had us face to face with the otter family again, this time we were around them for a good 40 mins before they disappeared from sight. Now if you had asked me before this trip, do you want to see an otter? Well I might have hesitated, but seeing animals in the wild like this makes it a whole different experience. There is no one else on the river, empty as can be, for the entire 3 days, and you get that feeling like, like you are the only people in the world. We moved lodges after lunch for a change of scenery. More hiking, canoeing and fishing followed. That night we spent an hour before bed killing the flying nagt like insects that seemed to be multiplying in our room. We fell asleep with the feeling of them bouncing off us and climbing up our noses. Back to the chanting, It’s all worth it, it’s all worth it….
Why sleep? By 7am we were up, had breakfast and were saddling our horses for a 2 hour ride through the wetlands. Which was dry, thankfully. I don’t know how I feel about riding a horse through water with thousands of crocodiles in it. Seems like a bad idea to me. And here ends the tour. On the way home we stopped at a real Brazilian steak house, where I don’t think a tourist has stepped before. We walked in and all conversations stopped, you could hear a pin drop, as everyone turned to gawk at us. They soon got distracted by a huge skewer of meat heading their way. We ate until we couldn’t move.
Now we had been friendly with Julinho, a couple of hiccups, but all round he is a nice guy and the three of us got on pretty well. But when he told us as he dropped us back to the hotel, that we needed to pay for the whole tour in cash, it dampened the mood a little. Now this was for meals and all, not just $50 or so. The limit on banks here sucks and charges stupidly. How were we going to get the money right away? So Greg now had to go around ATMs and try and get as much cash as he could and ended up at a hairdresser friend of Julinhos, paid him on the credit card, who will pay Julinho. What a pain in the ass and something that could have been mentioned sometime during our 90 hours together. When we asked, why, or how come you don’t use paypal or such. He simply quoted, the Brazilian government taxes too high, and I basically don’t want to pay it. We thought, you idiot! The next day we had a bright and early morning flight to the colorful city of Salvador.